Lana really blew me away with this post. Unlike Lana, I was lucky enough to feel very maternal during my pregnancy and to look forward to the changes having a child would bring to our life, whilst being terrified about the famous (and in our case, extremely true) prophesied severe lack of sleep (for years continuously for us!). But I too never thought I’d be a homeschooler in a million years, well, in part because I didn’t know it existed but even if I did I wouldn’t have thought I would have been ‘the sort of person’ to do it. I wouldn’t have thought I could give up so much ‘me’ time to my kids. But I am so, so happy to find I’m a different person, a much, much better person, a much, much happier person because of my kids. A person far more at peace with myself and the world because of the grace our kids brought into our lives. I too am tired. I’d love homeschooling to not be a solo endeavour, as loud as the cheerleader is from the sidelines! But I live and love our decision every day. Living off the beaten track makes me live much more consciously and I love that. I love that I won’t turn around one day and think ‘How did that happen? How did time pass so quickly – I didn’t mean things to be this way’. Yes, time will pass all too quickly but I will feel at peace knowing how much of it was time with my kids, laughing, discussing, arguing, reading and cuddling. TIME. WELL. SPENT.
I am tired.
No. Tired is inadequate; exhausted is overused.
Perhaps spent is more appropriate.
Those who know us know our lives are rather… erhm, full. Some seasons, full is oppressive; others, it’s beautiful – satisfying, even.
Last year we lived the first; this year we’ve seen glimpses of the second.
The difference? What we’ve chosen as our… fillers.
Seven years ago this month, I was counting down the weeks till Noelle’s birth, anxious to be delivered of the extra weight, anxious to get my body back.
I was tired of sharing my heart, my blood, my kidneys, my uterus. I was tired of being host to an ever-growing parasite. I wanted my parts back. I wanted to support my own life functions, and not anyone else’s.
I know. The naivete is crushingly hilarious.
View original post 1,221 more words