A useful way to mindfully parent children when they are driving you crazy!


This is another lovely way to parent children, mindfully from the above website.

When a child is driving you crazy, you can stop and say to yourself:

“My child challenges me at every turn
And I find myself engaged in a battle
A slow deep breath releases an anxious grip
And I listen to my child”
“It can be very frustrating when our child does not listen to us. But our expectations for our child’s compliance may assume a lot about their emotional and mental capacities.  While it is important that we establish early on our role as caretaker and decision maker, we owe it to ourselves not to create a battle out of thin air. Because of the complex interpersonal dynamic driving our relationship with our child, we often forget that we hold all the cards; we are the powerful one and ultimately we can force our child to do whatever we want. They, in contrast, have no power and cannot force us to do anything.  They are constantly exploring the parameters of their influence, and we play a fundamental role in their developing sense of themselves.
This verse helps us to better asses the situation by reminding us to take a deep breath in order to disrupt the energized state of tension that has arisen and, because we are ultimately charged as parents with using our power responsibly, to listen deeply to what our child is really saying to more aptly deal with the situation.  It may be necessary to take several deep breaths.  We might ask our child to join us in breathing deep or we may lovingly announce that we need a few minutes to think about what’s going on.  Doing so, we can create a more mindful place with which to deal with what is likely a fleeting state of frustration for both parent and child.”

About homeschoolingpenny

Hi and welcome! My name is Penny and I used to live in Bahrain but In November 2012 moved to Dubai and now we live in Granada, Spain! If you want to contact me my email is pjmontford@hotmail.com. I recommend you start my blog on 'Day 1' but please enjoy whatever you dip into. 23 February 2012 marked the first day of no more school FOREVER for my two kids. Edward, who is nearly 10 had attended a variety of schools since he was very little. Petra, who is now 6, has never gone to school. On this date we decided Edward was never going back to school and Petra never would go to school. We hope to successfully homeschool from this day forward, although we would consider an alternative school as an option- if there was some amazing Sudbury or other really alternative school. Actually, I prefer the term 'home learning' than 'homeschool' because I don't like to think of school coming into our home. In fact, I hope to go further and guide/learn alongside, rather than teach, my kids using the 'unschooling' philosophy to instill a lifelong love of learning in them. We lived in the Middle East and now Spain all of which are very challenging places to home educate. This is an exciting journey that I used to blog about regularly, at first it was on an almost daily basis. Please join me on our travels and I hope we might be able to help each other out along the way. I certainly hope I can be a source of support and comfort and, in time, knowledge to all potential/presently participating homeschoolers/home educators/unschoolers. Good luck to us all! If you want to read about why I started home educating, why I pulled my son out of a 'very good' private school mid-term, how I felt at the very start and how my philosophy has evolved, please start from 'Day 1' of the blog. Please do post comments at the end of any days that you read. Your opinion is valuable and it's great to start up debate amongst other people commenting too, however old the post. Thank you for visiting homeschoolingmiddleeast.
Aside | This entry was posted in Education, Homeschooling, Parenting and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to A useful way to mindfully parent children when they are driving you crazy!

  1. When I first read the title of this piece, and even before I got to read it, I thought ‘this is for me’! I appreciate your advice, yet, sometimes I cannot literally bear any of my kids’ silliness (alhtough I believe that children have the right to be silly and we have to deal with it, it is a responsibility). The problem with me is that I am a moody person, I am never persistent and cannot separate them of my mood. I think it is a personal problem that usually rises with the stresses of life. But I hope I can ge over it at some point.

  2. Pingback: Are Your Kids Driving You Crazy Too? | homeschoolingmiddleeast

  3. shaema imam says:

    Helpful reminder! And often my kids are suggesting a feasible, and
    more creative, option that I should welcome, especially if my intention is for them to have more say in what they want to learn and how.

    • Spot on, Shaema. I totally agree with you. Because of your comment, I read this post again and was really grateful to you that I got a chance to do so, because it’s lovely and a great thing that I need to remember everyday and indeed I will add to my thoughts that my children can do a better job of sorting out conflict than I can often.

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